Hello lovelies! My apologies for not being too active on the blog, school and life has been crazy! But I wanted to hop on, because I’ve seen a lot of influencers becoming more vulnerable on their platform, and I feel like I should as well. I preach a lot about self-love, confidence in your own image, and more, but it’s been quite a journey for myself included.
Growing up, I used to put a lot of my confidence into how I looked, and I didn’t really like the way I looked. I had really bad acne, I was taller than the rest of my class, I didn’t like the way my face looked without makeup, and there were so many other little tiny things I would be able to pick out about myself that I didn’t like. Social media wasn’t a big help either. I used to photoshop my pictures on social media just to get people’s praise out of it. I would compare myself with my friends who I thought were prettier and better in general, and celebrities I didn’t even know. I didn’t realize it then, but now I realize it was such a bad hole to fall down into.
I think it was just until recently a few years ago, that I realized how toxic it was for me personally. I am so much more than just an outside image. My personality, my intelligence, my positivity are just some of the things that growing up people unfortunately didn’t get to know because I was so obsessed with looks. And then it brings me to this pageant that I’d never thought I’d enter, nevertheless win. I don’t look like your “average pageant girl” that you might see in movies. I didn’t really even know much about pageants before competing in my first one. I didn’t think I would win. Because as always there is this stereotype that pageants are for only a certain type of girl. So, what really is a “pageant girl”?
Let me tell you who she is. She is more than just her looks or her walk in an evening gown. She is someone who is passionate. Passionate about using her platform to spread awareness. Passionate about helping her community. She has dreams and big goals. One of my goals is to make it to Milan or New York Fashion Week, and I’m going to do just that. She has a big heart, and wants to make a change. She has aspirations and hobbies. She is more than a crown and a title. Yes, the pageant industry itself has a lot more progressing to do, but it’s going in the right track. I was given the opportunity, and it has changed me forever. My biggest takeaway isn’t these cool opportunities or the people I’ve met along the way (but it is a close second! I love my pageant girls as always), but it was the ability to love myself in my own skin. That’s what I am the most grateful for, and that’s why I want it to be my mission to help you guys have that love for yourself too. We are in a world where social media has dominated and we see such photoshopped pictures left and right, where we want to become them and are upset we don’t look like them. I have fallen down that hole too don’t worry, but if I can climb out of it so can you. It’s not going to be easy, they say that you are your biggest enemy, but I promise you that you will get there. And even once you get there, it isn’t smooth sailing either, there are so many nights of self-doubt and sadness, but it’s okay to feel that way too. Our emotions are valid.
I can’t believe my reign is soon coming to an end, but if I have helped at least someone finds themselves, I will call that mission accomplished. And I know it’s very early, but to my successor, I know you will do amazing things <3